Questioning - A Powerful Tool.

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What a wonderful gift I got from that Almighty? This very beautiful gift of mine, I will cherish till my last breath… THE LIFE!

A great gift that you can feel, experience, understand, observe, learn, and evolve yourself in every turn of life.

What we can do OR we can’t do…with our life OR in our life, what we feel and consider is impossible for us to accomplish OR quite possible to achieve depends on utility of our own belief system. The gift that can be destroyed OR CAN be Enhanced by our own thoughts. This very belief system not only determines but also affects our thinking pattern and hence forth our behavior. 
It directly or sometimes indirectly affects the way we deal with people or circumstances in our day-to-day lives, that’s why they say; the capabilities are constant but how much of it you use is depended on the identity you have for yourself. 

When in doubtful situation I use the tool of “Questioning” which I found as a powerful tool to track myself on right way.

The belief what we carry for own self depends on the identity we have for our self, i.e. Who am I? OR Who we are? Determines our capacities and capabilities of what we can or cannot. The beliefs we have on our self is so powerful that it can create a great impact on our personal, professional and social aspects either in negative OR in positive way depending on the believes we carry for self.  Our beliefs on own self directly reflect on the self-esteem and the attitude we carry that so forth defines our self Identity.

 As the self-belief operates and reflects on the functioning of our own capabilities…so the questions help us tune our self on right code of strings.

I rediscover myself by questioning as I have experienced the power of this application several times… in past. As a person who practices meditation alone with affirmations, I even realize that the power of questioning is greater than the power of affirming as the questioning acts instantly on the feelings and emotional state we go through at that particular time. 
When we ask the right question, for sure we will get the right answer. If we are expecting a right answer for a wrong question, then our mind leaves us in a state of confusion where we tend to decide on something and then an equal contradictory question / say a doubt arises in us which is opposite to what we have decided to do. That’s where we got to realize that – this is the time to reframe the question, simple because the quality questions create the quality answers. Switching our self to ask a quality question opens new door, better way to deal with situations. 

Remember! That its not merely a question but a link, a tool that is shaping our destiny. So it’s very important to ask right questions.

Why is that we fail to ask right questions sometimes?
To understand this powerful tool of “Questioning,” let me share a real time case study that I have dealt with a few days ago…

In an occasion where we were attending a friend’s marriage, I came across to a cute little baby girl, named Monisha, of 5. While I was comforting myself on a couch, Monisha came to me for the first time with a sweet smile and an innocent face, for which she got a smile back as response from me as I love kids. Then she came close to me with her little fingers making a kind of sign and said something in “Tamil” language, which I am not much familiar of. I can understand few words if spoken slowly but Monisha said something so quickly with a wide smile on her cute face. And after that she astonished me by squeezing my cheeks. I could sense and understand that the little baby said something good. Then I lifted her and made her sit on my laps and asked her few general questions like – what’s your name? Which standard you are studying in? for which she replied back in Tamil with her soft nightingale tone. J People around us got surprised watching us conversing in two different languages that are not understood by each other. Then, there comes the grooms sister who acted as translator, thanks to her, she asked Monisha… do you know her? The kid relied “Yes”. Then she again asked, Monisha did you like her? This time the kid relied out official translator by hugging me and said the same words what she said when she saw me for the first time. I asked my friend, what does it mean? She replied saying; Monisha refers you as a cute little baby. And immediately I got so many kisses from this sweet girl. 

 Everyone around witnessed this entire scenario, including one of my close friends.  My pal joined to us with pleasant feeling and asked Monisha with a big smile, if Vahini is little baby then what am I? Just expecting a friendly reply from this cutie-pie, as Monisha was sounding so sweet while she was talking. Monisha replied something that shocked every one of us, she told my friend that I don’t like you and I won’t be your friend. For which my dear friend got little embarrassed but managed to smile it out. But, somehow this very reaction of Monisha has triggered my friend think on “Why the kid didn’t like me?” 

Since then for next few days whenever she recollected that incidence or whenever she saw a kiddo, my friend questioned me only one thing, why doesn’t kids like me? For which, honestly, I don’t have a convincing answer. But when I was asked similar question again and again, I countered her back with the question – What do you think the reason is? For which the spontaneous answer from my dear friend was “ I Don’t Know.”

That clearly indicated that the question is wrong, as it doesn’t have any right answer!

At that moment the immediate question raised in my mind is that why do people fail to ask right question? How can I help my friend get a right answer? What could be the right/ quality question? They say: ask and you shall receive…the same happened with me. As I was thinking of helping out my friend, I received a solution that I have messages my friend that says – My friend, you asked me “Why doesn’t kids like me? Instead, I suggest you to ask yourself, “How can I condition myself, so that I am more lovable and happy?’

Changing the question changes the state of mind, which in turn changes the thinking pattern of individual. The focus is shifted immediately by asking the right question, forefront, changes our feelings, emotions and behavior. The RAS starts focusing on the right answer by perpetuating the positive thinking pattern.

Asking one self the right questions, like,
what’s really great about my life and myself right now?
Did I achieve and become what I really wanted to?
What id that hindering me in achieving my Goals?
How can I evolve and empower myself in order to achieve what I aim for?

These above questions are very powerful that give us an accurate and quality answers. I personally evaluate myself by asking such powerful questions on New Year and on my birthday every year that happens to fall in every six months respectively. This application helps me to trigger my capabilities and gets me out of that self-contradictory state of mind [doubting self abilities] and empowers me to take up new challenges by stepping off my comfort zone to discover those untouched landscapes of life, to experience those unachieved new objectives.

We must apply this tool of “Questioning” to evaluate when and where required and then execute the answer to turn the concept into reality. The tool of questioning is so powerful that it instantly shifts the focus and shapes the destiny. As they said: Some men see at things as they are and say, why? I dream of things that never were and say: why not? That’s the power of questioning. We can trigger our emotions, shift our focus and apply our capabilities by asking quality questions. And we can experience the magnificent emotional change that empowers our capabilities that helps us in achieve our Goals. 

The holidays are the best phase to rejoice and enjoy with our beloved ones, get in touch and greet our old and new friends and also to spend with us in solitude to encounter our own self with quality questions. To make those powerful, emotional transformations, in our thought process to redesign and shape our better tomorrow.

 As it is already said: We cannot change the past, but we can always change our future.

Live life with Strength and Passion!

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Love,
Vahini R Muniganti

Shift the Focus, Change the Perception.

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It’s not only about redirecting negative behavior buts also to reinforcing positive behavior.

Given a thought on above sentence that says so much about changing the negative thoughts and perceptions into positive healthy thoughts, that will show a direct impact on human behavior…Its a great step to take and experience on. Bad experiences are part of life as they give us a direction towards better understanding on life. I heard Mr. Mahesh Batt saying that “I will never share my failures with any one, nor I will regret on them as they are my treasures of life. They taught me the right way, so don’t want to give away my failure to any one.”  What a perception he got..! must say…very cerebral.

Now when we are talking about changing negative perception into positive in our self and others… there are few questions rise in my mind, like:

  • Can we really change others perception by changing the focus?
  • Can we change our own perception into positive way without changing the focus on negative incidences occurred in past?
  • If, someone’s external behavior is in positive way but internal perception still holds in negative manner, will this not affect the entire behavior of the person in negative manner?

There are many such questions popping up in mind as I think on deeper levels of perception and understanding personas of human.

For now lets focus on first question.

“Can we really change others perception by changing the focus?”

The answer will be “YES” based on my experiences. As an example I would like to share my own personal experience that I shared to Mr. Aalok Sood, Head of DC India and Arthur F Carmazzi, Founder of DC and top 9th Leadership Guru in the world, while training the 2nd batch of DC Trainers in India, as a case study on "Focus and RAS"

Few months ago I have introduces Fluffy [it’s a rabbit, whom I consider as my son. So, I don’t really like to address him as a Rabbit] when he was just two months baby. Knowing the fact that my people are pet lovers.

But, somehow my husband couldn’t connect to him. And felt annoyed with Fluffys presence…and this infuriated nature started bursting out everyday when Fluffy was around him. Even Fluffy sensed it and started behaving weirdly only with my husband. Initially I felt I must give them sometime to adjust and accept each other. But then, even after 4 months I don’t see any change except Fluffy growing big with his naughty stunts. There was a point when my husband started telling me to give away Fluffy to some one else.

Ignoring his words I started recollecting him about his loving nature towards pets, when he pampered Jiya, a pet dog in our family. His caring personality and his future plan of getting a Germen shepherd into family. There his Focus got shifted and started paying attention towards Fluffy. Then I educated my husband on fluffys behavior and how he loves to get pampered. As, Fluffy loves to get pampered a lot. Diverted his focus more on moves of Fluffy when he is hungry, how he is when he wants to play. By shifting the focus from irritation to caring, today I see it’s my husband who feeds fluffy more, cared about the cold weather and comforting Fluffy and to my wonder he started speaking to Fluffy like I do. Harish took an effort of repairing the basket in which Fluffy stays [that was bitten by fluffy to escape J].
I see a dramatic change in Fluff’s behavior as well as he is not troubling Harish by scratching him now days. The Focus and RAS of Fluffy is changing and Perpetuating to Harish focus. Incridible exchange of energies.

Shift the Focus change the Perception. As perception changes the world around us.

Explore- Experience- Evolve- Excel...!

Live Strong with Passion!!
Vahini R Muniganti

Nothing Is Really Over Until the Moment You Stop Trying

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Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. Remember, we can always begin new…


As no one is hundred percent perfect in the world, so don't be afraid to declare that you are less than perfect; accepting your fragility push you to strive for excellence. 

Also the acceptance binds relations bond to each other, making that space for understanding and supporting. Be bold, stand still and challenge the challenges.

Don't weaken your worth by comparing yourself with others, as you are unique in yourself… realize your worth.


Don't set your goals by what other people believe is important. Only you know what is best for you. Set your own goals and design your destiny.

Don't take anything for granted that is closest to your heart, as life is meaningless without them. So, grip to them as you would be with your life.

Don't let your present flow through your fingers like the water in the palms, 

by living in the past or by agonize for the future.


Live your life on daily basis; one day at a time and you will live all the days of your life.

Make odds into even. Step out of your box and walk that extra mile…come out of comfort zone to challenge the unknown. 

Life is a sum of all your choices…Electrify and explore the new world…learn new things, apply them in your life and excel yourself. Choose the best and be the Best.

Life brings up situations where you are put in time test…don’t give up…demonstrate the life you are stronger enough to sustain…show the life, you have not come to give up, indeed you still have something to give.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be fearless. Give space, take space…The quickest way to get love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly, remember, what you give you get back and love isn’t a thing to hold…it has to be allowed to flow freely; and the best way to keep love is to furnish it those wings.

What is a life without purpose? It’s just a trash. Living without dreams is to live without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose. Turn around your dreams into reality. Live with purpose…make the life worth living, live it with passion and let the challenges wonder looking at your strengths. 

Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight | Video on TED.com

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Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight | Video on TED.com

Respect, Faith, Love & Happiness

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The happiest people in the world are the extremely loving people. They are simple, kind, caring, understanding and compassionate. They know how to value and Respect the one they love. The Faith they have on their love for that exceptional one is beyond the limits and is very precious. The feel of affection runs deeper, much deeper than nerves. 

This strong affection within self makes them the most cheerful person.

There love can be gentle; nevertheless it can also connects faster than light. And at its strongest, it makes it possible to integrate, pass the thoughts and vibrations in the mind and heart before it’s even realized by the receiver. 

It’s a power that peacefully fills the movements with strength before a word has been communicated. One mode is to talk, not to other but to self. Because inside there is a reserve of love that will see things through anything and everything.

Friendship isn’t so consistent or undying. The more you love the deeper the storage of courage and the less you have to key yourself…where the true institution is for real giving.

Love is, being happy for the other person, when they are happy; being Sad when they are sad; Love is the foundation of Strength and a person with strength always gives the best to everyone, being honest with real feeling, and with the other person at all times telling, listening, respecting the Truth and never pretending, Love is the starting place of reality, an Understanding that is so complete that you don’t need to cover up, you feel as if you are a part of the other person since ages, accepting the person just the manner they are and not trying to change them to be something else but its to unite and become one soul, the growth of one individual alongside of together with the growth of another individual, the excitement of planning things together, the excitement of doing things together.

It’s the spring of Passion giving and taking in a daily situation, being patient with each other, basis of Sharing, knowing that the other person Will Always Be With You Regardless Of What Happens, missing the other person when they are away. But, remaining close In Heart every single moment. Forever stays in the thoughts…

Live life with Strength & Passion!!!  

Never gaining lose

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Losing somebody you love is very throbbing pain. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up. These feelings are scary, frightening and overwhelming. The journey of these feeling is a never ending process.

I feel I was extremely fortunate to have her with me in my life, as gift of God. Never thought, I will be forced to give up that gift in my life time. I am too small to understand His skit but always experienced that we have no control on certain things in our lives.

Even though, we had a very little age gap, she was my daughter, who I saw growing and establishing as time passes. As a mother would like to see her child reap with bright life with all the happiness, so did I. And I was more than a mother to her as she always said. The girl who never made anybody cries…and especially who kept me on heights all the time. And she knew I did not wish for that any time...Today leaves me with no option but only with grief that leaves a heartache no one can heal. If tears could build a flight of stairs, memories a path, I would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again my child. It feels like a wing is cutoff and can't be replaced.

Being in shock and pain I reacted impulsively for the whole day. But then I realized she certainly was not girl of this generation…she was very strong with her values and ethics. She was always clear about her things and made her choices.

She made her place in people’s heart that will be never shared and will never die but live forever. She was said to be an Angel by her dear one; the angel who is constantly near to her loved ones to whisper to them and tell she is always close to them and her loved ones are safe in the hands of God.  

And my child, my love to you remains untouched and I will always respect your thoughts, values and choices…!

Virtue

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Virtue a moral Excellence…! Virtue - a genuine beauty in and of a person that makes then lovely and extraordinary.

To reach to that extraordinary level of moral excellence one has to find their core identity, realize their self believes and most important be yourself – no matter what.

Few years ago I met a person in my trainings, who was suffering from low self esteem and identity crisis. According to her, she was doing everything best possible to fit into her new family after her marriage. The entire training sessions she discussed about the tragedies she faced. How rude the people were and what all she had to take in her new life. But, she couldn’t help herself getting isolated with lowliness. She was so nerves and irritated with her own self that she never allowed co-participants to get friendly in the training program me. The misery and unhappiness in her life was completely visible. In her examples, she even mentioned about her suicidal intentions she got sometimes.

In the process of fitting in a new family she has just lost her self- identity and self being. She did only those things which other liked or wanting from her and totally ignored herself.
How can someone be happy without being themselves?

'' Nobody is as miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person what he is in his body and mind. ''

What you are actually is defined by the identity you have for yourself and when you act against it then your personality doesn’t support it. And there the clash of core identity and made identity occurs. So before this happens, study your own personality and find out what you are. No matter what happens be yourself.

The complex of all the attributes--behavioral, temperamental, emotional and mental--that characterize a unique individual is your personality… knowing your inner and outer personality is very important to grow virtually.

In my Fashion designing classes I came across with a person who is extremely talented and creative but due to his physical appearance he was keeping himself at low profile…without expressing much of his ideas in front of the pupil. Fortunately, the faculty was well experienced and knows how to boost her students. One day she called up this guy and asked him to explain his creations in detail to all the fellow mates… even though initially he was bit scared…to come out of his last row, with all the classmates encouragement he came out and started explaining his innovative creation. To everybody’s surprise he was extremely talented. The faculty said: I know why you try to hide; you are ashamed of your features, and the boy got embarrassed but the faculty continued telling – is that a crime not being glamorous and gorgeous? That, you hide yourself, all the time. Unlock yourself and everyone will love you when they see you Valuing yourself. Your talents are exposed in better way when you communicate about it.

Compared to what we must to be with our natural abilities we are merely half of it. We human possess immense power which we habitually fail to use.

Let’s not waste our power and time on what others talk about us OR by comparing ourselves with others…instead, think you are something new in this world, because you are not like others. The science of genetics informs us that we are what we are…as we are result of twenty-four chromosomes contributed by our mother and father individually.

Each individual is different, and there would be no one like you before and never again throughout all the ages, there will be anyone like you. Every person is unique in themselves.

All these comparisons, fears, inferiorities create a feeble personality which targets your self confidence and self esteem. When you understand that you are unique and there is and was never a scope to compare then your morals gets boosted with high values and core principles of your inner self that supports your core identity in reaching your moral excellence i.e. the self Virtue.

Virtue is the color, form, shape of ones personality. It is the way they do things; the way they move, speak, and dress; simple, sober and composed. They may have no money but if a person has virtue, they will always seem rich, for everything close to them will be filled with quality. Virtue shines outwards into everything; into environment; into body and into every tissue and fibre of plant and living being.

It fills what is empty, heals what is sick, and settles what is troubled.
But underneath virtue there must be silence. When silence and virtue live together in one person, there is perfection.

Utilize those immense powers you possess
Live strong with passion!!!

Vahini Muniganti

Virtue

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Virtue - a moral Excellence…! Virtue - a genuine beauty in and of a person that makes them lovely and extraordinary.

To reach to that extraordinary level of moral excellence one has to find their core identity, realize their self believes and most important, be yourself – no matter what.

Few years ago I met a person in my trainings, who was suffering from low self esteem and identity crisis. According to her, she was doing everything best possible to fit into her new family after her marriage. The entire training sessions she discussed about the tragedies she faced. How rude the people were and what all she had to take in her new life. But, she couldn’t help herself getting isolated with lowliness. She was so nerves and irritated with her own self that she never allowed other participants to get friendly. The misery and unhappiness in her life was completely visible. In her examples, she even mentioned about her suicidal intentions she got sometimes.

In the process of fitting in a new family she has just lost her self- identity and self being. She did only those things which other liked or wanting from her and totally ignored herself.

How can someone be happy without being themselves?

'' Nobody is as miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person what he is in his body and mind. ''

What you are actually is defined by the identity you have for yourself and when you act against it then your personality doesn’t support it. And there the clash of core identity and made identity occurs. So before this happens, study your own personality and find out what you are. No matter what happens be yourself.


The complex of all the attributes--behavioral, temperamental, emotional and mental--that characterize a unique individual is your personality… knowing your inner and outer personality is very important to grow virtually.

In my Fashion designing classes I came across with a person who is extremely talented and creative but due to his physical appearance he was keeping himself at low profile…without expressing much of his ideas in front of the pupil. Fortunately, the faculty was well experienced and knows how to boost her students. One day she called up this guy and asked him to explain his creations in detail to all the fellow mates… even though initially he was bit scared…to come out of his last row, with all the classmates encouragement he came out and started explaining his innovative creation. To everybody’s surprise he was extremely talented. The faculty said: I know why you try to hide; you are ashamed of your features, and the boy got embarrassed but the faculty continued telling – is that a crime not being glamorous and gorgeous? That, you hide yourself, all the time. Unlock yourself and everyone will love you when they see you Valuing yourself. Your talents are exposed in better way when you communicate about it.

Compared to what we must to be with our natural abilities we are merely half of it. We human possess immense power which we habitually fail to use.

Let’s not waste our power and time on what others talk about us OR by comparing ourselves with others…instead, think you are something new in this world, because you are not like others. The science of genetics informs us that we are what we are…as we are result of twenty-four chromosomes contributed by our mother and father individually.

Each individual is different, and there would be no one like you before and never again throughout all the ages, there will be anyone like you. Every person is unique in themselves.

All these comparisons, fears, inferiorities create a feeble personality which targets your self confidence and self esteem. When you understand that you are unique and there is and was never a scope to compare then your morals gets boosted with high values and core principles of your inner self that supports your core identity in reaching your moral excellence i.e. the self Virtue.

Virtue is the color, form, shape of ones personality. It is the way they do things; the way they move, speak, and dress; simple, sober and composed. They may have no money but if a person has virtue, they will always seem rich, for everything close to them will be filled with quality. Virtue shines outwards into everything; into environment; into body and into every tissue and fibre of plant and living being.

It fills what is empty, heals what is sick, and settles what is troubled.

But underneath virtue there must be silence. When silence and virtue live together in one person, there is peace, there is bliss, there is true fulfillment, there is evolution in your very being.


Utilize those immense powers you possess

Share Courage, Spread Love!

Vahini Reddy

Belief

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Don’t undermine your worth by comparing
Yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each
Of us is special.
Don’t set your goals by what other people
estimate important,
Only you know what is best for you.
Don’t take for granted the things closest
To your heart
Cling to that as you would your life, for without
Them life is meaningless.
Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living
In the past or the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the
Days of your life.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over … until the moment
You stop trying.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less
Than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don’t be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s
Impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don’t dismiss your Dreams. To be without
Dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don’t run through life so fast that you forget
Where you’ve been,
But also know where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
Every step of the way.

Discover the Unfamiliar

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Our life is full of challenges, the challenges we over come by facing the unknown RISKS…that leads us to our SUCCESS; the next level of our life. Often we feel uncomfortable to unfold our CAPABILITIES that are located within us, as we hold fear in breaking through those challenges. 

Fear stops us in taking risk. It can be fear of failure, fear of losing something or fear of unknown. Challenge is something, which we are not used to, or something we never handled of. To face that challenge or something new, we HAVE to come out of our comfort zone, work in unknown space where we are not sure of out come. And to come out of our comfort zone, we first HAVE to accept the challenge and get ready to unfold and enter into unknown zone, without having any expectations on the out come would be.

For this we GOT to have a Positive Attitude, Courage, well-Determined mindset, High- Self Confidence, Self Esteem and above all theses the Passion to face and conquer the Challenge without fear. By just keeping simple thing in mind – If I succeed then its an another SUCCESS in my kitty else its an another experience I got to LEARN.


 And then, try another method. ALWAYS REMEMBER THERE ARE NO FAILURES.

"Nothing can be called failure until you accept it as such. You can transmute all past failures and mistakes into ASSERTS. Adversity is Nature's method of disciplining people to learn to take possession of their own minds. Greatest blessings often come from the greatest adversities. Study yourself carefully and you may discover that your own emotions are your greatest handicap in the business of accurate thinking."

To discover the unfamiliar, one must take risk by coming out of comfort zone. When we start facing the challenges in unfamiliar zone, then that new space becomes your comfort zone, which was once an unknown zone. 



Risk, shows how far you are willing to face the fear. The person who is containing the lofty tolerance will take great risk, and attain Excellence.

Discover your Strengths!!! Live Strong with Passion!!!

Vahini Muniganti

2…Changing the Past Perception

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Human life is full of Experiences, Beliefs, Perceptions, and Change…

Nothing is consistent except change; Change is the only thing, which is consistent in human life…and we hardly realize it…

Even though change is consistent in our life, every change starts with Fear-The fear of Unknown, an Impression – that creates Perception and a overall Experience – which is sometimes good and few bad; where the good gives us pleasant feelings, the bad becomes stepping stone to us, by giving its Lessons, the Life lessons.

In all these events, we knowingly and unknowingly create certain impressions in our mind; these perceptions influence us in our decisions; in every moment of our life…based on our past perception we view and judge the people, the world around us.

Allow me to share my own experience, an incidence that can be a case study to above subject.

Few years ago, my husband, Harish, [who was my fiancée] and me were going on drive and suddenly I realized that we were on different route. When I asked Harish about it, he said we were going to meet one of his old mates - Andy. 

Adding to that he said that they have done their entire schooling and college together. He continued telling everything about Andy – the good, the bad and the awful. Most of the information I heard about Andy was unpleasant and felt, instead of meeting him we could go to some pleasant place.
It would be waste of time meeting this person, I told to myself.

Within few minutes we were at Andy’s place. Harish rang the doorbell; a man with tedious face and ragged clothes opened the door…With the broad smile opened his arms and hugged Harish and received him with affection and his expression was- as if he discovered the most Precious thing in this world.

Then he saw me; however I was not keen to get introduced to this man…as I already formed an opinion about Andy based on Harish’s information. Where in Harish didn’t share worse things deliberately in his conversation, it was his crazy memories… all man things.

Andy stretched his arms and welcomed me pleasantly…he said- Welcome to my sweet home! My dear excellent friend…it’s wonderful to meet a great friend like you, he added.

With boredom in my face, I asked Andy- How do you know that I am a great person [honestly, little irritation in my mind; thinking that this person is trying too hard]

Andy replied – because you are my great friends fiancée… I slow downed a bit and paused.

After a long conversation on recollection of their old memories and togetherness… we decided to depart, at that final moment- Andy made an apology to me saying that he got nothing to offer as it was my first visit to his place.

Then, very next moment he said- this is what I can offer, saying that Andy lit a candle in his composed prayer shelf, kneel down and offered a prayer.

Lord, thank you for sending this lovely angel to my home today – Lord today you have gifted me a little sister, unfortunately I have nothing to offer other than my Prayer. Oh! Lord please showers your grace and abundance blessing to this lovely couple in all the events. Give them strength, health, and prosperity. Thank you Almighty, for accepting my prayers…he said and stood up to send us off…

I could notice tears in his eyes, I couldn’t stop myself…just went to Andy rubbed his back and hugged him and said – Andy…thank you for the prayer.

Traveling back home, I realized that I was looking at Andy with an impression I created by to picking up few bad and worse incidences I heard of. And because of that I was getting irritated and restless when they were recollecting old days… I was not part of their conversation.

I forgot that- Time has changed from Then to Now; people Change according to time, situation and experiences…. I learnt one of my Valuable lessons that day…

The moment we get engaged with someone we start creating our opinions on the new person without trying to know them thoroughly. 
The newly married couple is always given a psychological glasses… they live with this rented opinions and live according to it with out seeing the reality… and above to it the members of the family gives their own opinion creating more differences between the couple – like adding the fuel to fire…
This happens not only in the marriages, but also in the new relationships, new employee in office, get to gathers…this can happen anywhere… most of the times what we see and think of a person may not be true… we better rely on our true experience that on acquired information.

The notion and perception we create unknowingly is hard to be replaced…because of which many a time others suffer. So why place a wrong impression in the first place…before getting an opinion lets be sure about it.
Let us not see anyone or anything with dented mind…lets not seed others mind with our opinions…just by having wrong perceptions.

LETS CHANGE TO DO EXTREMELY WELL…


Live Positive and Passionate!!!

Vahini Muniganti

Protract excitement… 1…Feel and alter the feelings 2…Changing the past perception 3…By discovering the unfamiliar

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1…Feel and alter the feelings

That was an usual day, but I got a reason to feel excited…my friend, Bhanu came to our place with her husband Krish…while serving the tea and snacks; we demand them to stay back for dinner, as they dropped by at brunch time, I being a person who loves to cook and serve, got a reason to cook special dish…but in all these episodes, we could clearly notice that my friend Bhanu was upset for some reason…that even Krish was also not aware of…

She was frustrated from within and no humor could giggle her, instead we could see the clenched teeth as if she is holding her volcanic temper. I would rather say it as the recent Tsunami temper…we must leave the couple alone for sometime providing private space to sort out the issue; my husband and me felt.

I requested my husband to be a helping hand in kitchen… the conversation of my friend was so high; I felt the whole society can hear her voice…She was frustrated at this thankless job of home maker and parenting…She felt like leaving away everything and everyone and run away as she was not finding anytime for herself; she was feeling worthless. She felt disrespected and taken for grated. Maybe she did not know the better way of handling the situations. Krish was trying to sober her down, as he felt conscious of location. Krish is a nice person, very polite in approach, person with a lot of patience and tolerance; Bhanu on the other hand is straightforward and strong at approach, patience and tolerance is not her cup of tea... They, being the love married couple, we know, they love each other immensely. Krish adore Bhanu for her innocence, purity and mental strength. Krish knows that, if Bhanu can change her aggressive behavior and gets soft spoken she will be exceptionally admired person. He accepted her for what she is. At times it was little difficult to him as her anger becomes too turbulent. He loved to pamper her, correcting her and care for her each emotion…
Bhanu started shouting at Krish on petty things…Krish could understand her frustration; and she was right at some points… Krish allowed Bhanu to shout and when she calmed down, he said; I am extremely sorry if I have hurt you.  

Bhanu got speechless, Kirish said; good we stayed back here, you got a break from preparing dinner…and he smiled…Bhanu smiled and hugged. Bhanu felt; God!!! How much he loves me! Krish didn’t move a bit and thought you don’t know how much I love you.


                                      
When anyone is emotionally down, try to understand his or her feeling instead of present intelligent solutions.

                           




  
This kind of situation could be with anyone of us at certain point of time in our lives. Not only between the couples but it can be with any relationship…parents, siblings, children, friends, or anyone…if we love them then it’s easy to understand their feeling. Place yourself in their shoes; try to experience what they are going through; try to know what is making them feel low or frustrated.
And then, a knowledge them that you care for their emotions; you are always there for them unconditionally; instead of giving smart advises and solution…Share the feeling by converse instead of getting preachy.  Don’t hesitate to take the false blame…like Krish did for his loved wife…where both of them know it’s not his fault totally….

For Krish; what Bhanu was saying while fighting was not important but what she was feeling was more important to him, He tried to feel what she was feeling, which allowed him to have patience, and tolerance.

It’s not necessary that someone else always have to be there to understand and shift your emotions…when you feel like you are under frustrating mood, emotionally low… Shift your focus by changing the thought process and get into different activity; change the mood by choosing contrast words…words are basis for communication, we not only communicate with others but even with ourselves. When we communicate within, its very important to choose right words… lets see how can we help ourselves to change our emotional state, by changing the words. Say these converts to yourself when in different gray moods.

Negative Emotions                                           Converts into

·                    Angry                                - Patience                  
·                    Boredom                           - Hobby
·                    Dominating                       - Little concern and feel sensitive about others feelings
·                    Frustration                         - Challenge and Fascination
·                    Timidity                            - Confident and informative
·                    Insecure                             - Questioning and be sure of the things
·                    Greedy                              - Helpful
·                    Lonely & Fearful              - Informative, Confident and available
·                    Stressed                            - Energized
·                    Sad                                   - Joyous, Cheerful
·                    Depressed                        - Change the location, get involved in a hobby
·                    Afraid                              - Brave and confident [repeat this in your mind]
·                    Lazy                                - Energized
·                    Confused                         - Analyses the situation and decide confidently
·                    Hatred                             - Love


Try this and feel the difference! You may apply your own strategies as well. I personally go on a ride when I feel low… or start painting, or plan to cook special dish…or talk to dearly people on phone [without letting them the reason behind my call]. And by the end of my activity, I literally forget my previous mood…sometime I laugh on myself; when I think of the low mood and stupid frustrations…Some times…its funny to joke on our low mood behaviors… J

 Be sensitive towards others feeling and help them come out of it…and help yourself by altering the feelings…be Emotionally intelligent…




Take care and Enjoy life for fullest!!!          








Vahini Muniganti