Protract excitement… 1…Feel and alter the feelings 2…Changing the past perception 3…By discovering the unfamiliar

1…Feel and alter the feelings

That was an usual day, but I got a reason to feel excited…my friend, Bhanu came to our place with her husband Krish…while serving the tea and snacks; we demand them to stay back for dinner, as they dropped by at brunch time, I being a person who loves to cook and serve, got a reason to cook special dish…but in all these episodes, we could clearly notice that my friend Bhanu was upset for some reason…that even Krish was also not aware of…

She was frustrated from within and no humor could giggle her, instead we could see the clenched teeth as if she is holding her volcanic temper. I would rather say it as the recent Tsunami temper…we must leave the couple alone for sometime providing private space to sort out the issue; my husband and me felt.

I requested my husband to be a helping hand in kitchen… the conversation of my friend was so high; I felt the whole society can hear her voice…She was frustrated at this thankless job of home maker and parenting…She felt like leaving away everything and everyone and run away as she was not finding anytime for herself; she was feeling worthless. She felt disrespected and taken for grated. Maybe she did not know the better way of handling the situations. Krish was trying to sober her down, as he felt conscious of location. Krish is a nice person, very polite in approach, person with a lot of patience and tolerance; Bhanu on the other hand is straightforward and strong at approach, patience and tolerance is not her cup of tea... They, being the love married couple, we know, they love each other immensely. Krish adore Bhanu for her innocence, purity and mental strength. Krish knows that, if Bhanu can change her aggressive behavior and gets soft spoken she will be exceptionally admired person. He accepted her for what she is. At times it was little difficult to him as her anger becomes too turbulent. He loved to pamper her, correcting her and care for her each emotion…

Bhanu started shouting at Krish on petty things…Krish could understand her frustration; and she was right at some points… Krish allowed Bhanu to shout and when she calmed down, he said; I am extremely sorry if I have hurt you.

Bhanu got speechless, Kirish said; good we stayed back here, you got a break from preparing dinner…and he smiled…Bhanu smiled and hugged. Bhanu felt; God!!! How much he loves me! Krish didn’t move a bit and thought you don’t know how much I love you.

When anyone is emotionally down, try to understand his or her feeling instead of present intelligent solutions.

This kind of situation could be with anyone of us at certain point of time in our lives. Not only between the couples but it can be with any relationship…parents, siblings, children, friends, or anyone…if we love them then it’s easy to understand their feeling. Place yourself in their shoes; try to experience what they are going through; try to know what is making them feel low or frustrated.

And then, a knowledge them that you care for their emotions; you are always there for them unconditionally; instead of giving smart advises and solution…Share the feeling by converse instead of getting preachy. Don’t hesitate to take the false blame…like Krish did for his loved wife…where both of them know it’s not his fault totally….

For Krish; what Bhanu was saying while fighting was not important but what she was feeling was more important to him, He tried to feel what she was feeling, which allowed him to have patience, and tolerance.

It’s not necessary that someone else always have to be there to understand and shift your emotions…when you feel like you are under frustrating mood, emotionally low… Shift your focus by changing the thought process and get into different activity; change the mood by choosing contrast words…words are basis for communication, we not only communicate with others but even with ourselves. When we communicate within, its very important to choose right words… lets see how can we help ourselves to change our emotional state, by changing the words. Say these converts to yourself when in different gray moods.

Negative Emotions Converts into

· Angry - Patience

· Boredom - Hobby

· Dominating - Little concern and feel sensitive about others feelings

· Frustration - Challenge and Fascination

· Timidity - Confident and informative

· Insecure - Questioning and be sure of the things

· Greedy - Helpful

· Lonely & Fearful - Informative, Confident and available

· Stressed - Energized

· Sad - Joyous, Cheerful

· Depressed - Change the location, get involved in a hobby

· Afraid - Brave and confident [repeat this in your mind]

· Lazy - Energized

· Confused - Analyses the situation and decide confidently

· Hatred - Love

Try this and feel the difference! You may apply your own strategies as well. I personally go on a ride when I feel low… or start painting, or plan to cook special dish…or talk to dearly people on phone [without letting them the reason behind my call]. And by the end of my activity, I literally forget my previous mood…sometime I laugh on myself; when I think of the low mood and stupid frustrations…Some times…its funny to joke on our low mood behaviors… J

Be sensitive towards others feeling and help them come out of it…and help yourself by altering the feelings…be Emotionally intelligent…