Questioning - A Powerful Tool.

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What a wonderful gift I got from that Almighty? This very beautiful gift of mine, I will cherish till my last breath… THE LIFE!

A great gift that you can feel, experience, understand, observe, learn, and evolve yourself in every turn of life.

What we can do OR we can’t do…with our life OR in our life, what we feel and consider is impossible for us to accomplish OR quite possible to achieve depends on utility of our own belief system. The gift that can be destroyed OR CAN be Enhanced by our own thoughts. This very belief system not only determines but also affects our thinking pattern and hence forth our behavior. 
It directly or sometimes indirectly affects the way we deal with people or circumstances in our day-to-day lives, that’s why they say; the capabilities are constant but how much of it you use is depended on the identity you have for yourself. 

When in doubtful situation I use the tool of “Questioning” which I found as a powerful tool to track myself on right way.

The belief what we carry for own self depends on the identity we have for our self, i.e. Who am I? OR Who we are? Determines our capacities and capabilities of what we can or cannot. The beliefs we have on our self is so powerful that it can create a great impact on our personal, professional and social aspects either in negative OR in positive way depending on the believes we carry for self.  Our beliefs on own self directly reflect on the self-esteem and the attitude we carry that so forth defines our self Identity.

 As the self-belief operates and reflects on the functioning of our own capabilities…so the questions help us tune our self on right code of strings.

I rediscover myself by questioning as I have experienced the power of this application several times… in past. As a person who practices meditation alone with affirmations, I even realize that the power of questioning is greater than the power of affirming as the questioning acts instantly on the feelings and emotional state we go through at that particular time. 
When we ask the right question, for sure we will get the right answer. If we are expecting a right answer for a wrong question, then our mind leaves us in a state of confusion where we tend to decide on something and then an equal contradictory question / say a doubt arises in us which is opposite to what we have decided to do. That’s where we got to realize that – this is the time to reframe the question, simple because the quality questions create the quality answers. Switching our self to ask a quality question opens new door, better way to deal with situations. 

Remember! That its not merely a question but a link, a tool that is shaping our destiny. So it’s very important to ask right questions.

Why is that we fail to ask right questions sometimes?
To understand this powerful tool of “Questioning,” let me share a real time case study that I have dealt with a few days ago…

In an occasion where we were attending a friend’s marriage, I came across to a cute little baby girl, named Monisha, of 5. While I was comforting myself on a couch, Monisha came to me for the first time with a sweet smile and an innocent face, for which she got a smile back as response from me as I love kids. Then she came close to me with her little fingers making a kind of sign and said something in “Tamil” language, which I am not much familiar of. I can understand few words if spoken slowly but Monisha said something so quickly with a wide smile on her cute face. And after that she astonished me by squeezing my cheeks. I could sense and understand that the little baby said something good. Then I lifted her and made her sit on my laps and asked her few general questions like – what’s your name? Which standard you are studying in? for which she replied back in Tamil with her soft nightingale tone. J People around us got surprised watching us conversing in two different languages that are not understood by each other. Then, there comes the grooms sister who acted as translator, thanks to her, she asked Monisha… do you know her? The kid relied “Yes”. Then she again asked, Monisha did you like her? This time the kid relied out official translator by hugging me and said the same words what she said when she saw me for the first time. I asked my friend, what does it mean? She replied saying; Monisha refers you as a cute little baby. And immediately I got so many kisses from this sweet girl. 

 Everyone around witnessed this entire scenario, including one of my close friends.  My pal joined to us with pleasant feeling and asked Monisha with a big smile, if Vahini is little baby then what am I? Just expecting a friendly reply from this cutie-pie, as Monisha was sounding so sweet while she was talking. Monisha replied something that shocked every one of us, she told my friend that I don’t like you and I won’t be your friend. For which my dear friend got little embarrassed but managed to smile it out. But, somehow this very reaction of Monisha has triggered my friend think on “Why the kid didn’t like me?” 

Since then for next few days whenever she recollected that incidence or whenever she saw a kiddo, my friend questioned me only one thing, why doesn’t kids like me? For which, honestly, I don’t have a convincing answer. But when I was asked similar question again and again, I countered her back with the question – What do you think the reason is? For which the spontaneous answer from my dear friend was “ I Don’t Know.”

That clearly indicated that the question is wrong, as it doesn’t have any right answer!

At that moment the immediate question raised in my mind is that why do people fail to ask right question? How can I help my friend get a right answer? What could be the right/ quality question? They say: ask and you shall receive…the same happened with me. As I was thinking of helping out my friend, I received a solution that I have messages my friend that says – My friend, you asked me “Why doesn’t kids like me? Instead, I suggest you to ask yourself, “How can I condition myself, so that I am more lovable and happy?’

Changing the question changes the state of mind, which in turn changes the thinking pattern of individual. The focus is shifted immediately by asking the right question, forefront, changes our feelings, emotions and behavior. The RAS starts focusing on the right answer by perpetuating the positive thinking pattern.

Asking one self the right questions, like,
what’s really great about my life and myself right now?
Did I achieve and become what I really wanted to?
What id that hindering me in achieving my Goals?
How can I evolve and empower myself in order to achieve what I aim for?

These above questions are very powerful that give us an accurate and quality answers. I personally evaluate myself by asking such powerful questions on New Year and on my birthday every year that happens to fall in every six months respectively. This application helps me to trigger my capabilities and gets me out of that self-contradictory state of mind [doubting self abilities] and empowers me to take up new challenges by stepping off my comfort zone to discover those untouched landscapes of life, to experience those unachieved new objectives.

We must apply this tool of “Questioning” to evaluate when and where required and then execute the answer to turn the concept into reality. The tool of questioning is so powerful that it instantly shifts the focus and shapes the destiny. As they said: Some men see at things as they are and say, why? I dream of things that never were and say: why not? That’s the power of questioning. We can trigger our emotions, shift our focus and apply our capabilities by asking quality questions. And we can experience the magnificent emotional change that empowers our capabilities that helps us in achieve our Goals. 

The holidays are the best phase to rejoice and enjoy with our beloved ones, get in touch and greet our old and new friends and also to spend with us in solitude to encounter our own self with quality questions. To make those powerful, emotional transformations, in our thought process to redesign and shape our better tomorrow.

 As it is already said: We cannot change the past, but we can always change our future.

Live life with Strength and Passion!

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Love,
Vahini R Muniganti

Shift the Focus, Change the Perception.

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It’s not only about redirecting negative behavior buts also to reinforcing positive behavior.

Given a thought on above sentence that says so much about changing the negative thoughts and perceptions into positive healthy thoughts, that will show a direct impact on human behavior…Its a great step to take and experience on. Bad experiences are part of life as they give us a direction towards better understanding on life. I heard Mr. Mahesh Batt saying that “I will never share my failures with any one, nor I will regret on them as they are my treasures of life. They taught me the right way, so don’t want to give away my failure to any one.”  What a perception he got..! must say…very cerebral.

Now when we are talking about changing negative perception into positive in our self and others… there are few questions rise in my mind, like:

  • Can we really change others perception by changing the focus?
  • Can we change our own perception into positive way without changing the focus on negative incidences occurred in past?
  • If, someone’s external behavior is in positive way but internal perception still holds in negative manner, will this not affect the entire behavior of the person in negative manner?

There are many such questions popping up in mind as I think on deeper levels of perception and understanding personas of human.

For now lets focus on first question.

“Can we really change others perception by changing the focus?”

The answer will be “YES” based on my experiences. As an example I would like to share my own personal experience that I shared to Mr. Aalok Sood, Head of DC India and Arthur F Carmazzi, Founder of DC and top 9th Leadership Guru in the world, while training the 2nd batch of DC Trainers in India, as a case study on "Focus and RAS"

Few months ago I have introduces Fluffy [it’s a rabbit, whom I consider as my son. So, I don’t really like to address him as a Rabbit] when he was just two months baby. Knowing the fact that my people are pet lovers.

But, somehow my husband couldn’t connect to him. And felt annoyed with Fluffys presence…and this infuriated nature started bursting out everyday when Fluffy was around him. Even Fluffy sensed it and started behaving weirdly only with my husband. Initially I felt I must give them sometime to adjust and accept each other. But then, even after 4 months I don’t see any change except Fluffy growing big with his naughty stunts. There was a point when my husband started telling me to give away Fluffy to some one else.

Ignoring his words I started recollecting him about his loving nature towards pets, when he pampered Jiya, a pet dog in our family. His caring personality and his future plan of getting a Germen shepherd into family. There his Focus got shifted and started paying attention towards Fluffy. Then I educated my husband on fluffys behavior and how he loves to get pampered. As, Fluffy loves to get pampered a lot. Diverted his focus more on moves of Fluffy when he is hungry, how he is when he wants to play. By shifting the focus from irritation to caring, today I see it’s my husband who feeds fluffy more, cared about the cold weather and comforting Fluffy and to my wonder he started speaking to Fluffy like I do. Harish took an effort of repairing the basket in which Fluffy stays [that was bitten by fluffy to escape J].
I see a dramatic change in Fluff’s behavior as well as he is not troubling Harish by scratching him now days. The Focus and RAS of Fluffy is changing and Perpetuating to Harish focus. Incridible exchange of energies.

Shift the Focus change the Perception. As perception changes the world around us.

Explore- Experience- Evolve- Excel...!

Live Strong with Passion!!
Vahini R Muniganti